What to make of such disparate events?

I assume so much—because I cannot bear to think otherwise: that my family will be intact next Christmas. That I will again shop for those I love. That we’ll decorate our home and see friends and love one another. That we’ll be safe. That all will be well.

In the wake of this year’s events, such an expectation seems—at best—naive.

I wondered how I might let go of the closing year–and  embrace 2013. How I might respect what has gone before, and open myself—with hope—to what comes next.

The answer came to me as I read this gorgeous essay (see link below) by Andrew D. Scrimgeour in today’s New York Times Book Review. Mr. Scrimgeour is dean of libraries at Drew University. In “Handled With Care” he writes about removing books from a personal library once the owner of those books has died.  His approach is reverent, quiet, deliberate. It honors both the books and their late collector….without succumbing to a past that is no more. Handled with care. It seems a fitting way to let go of the past and approach another year.

Read the essay in full at: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/30/books/review/handled-with-care.html?pagewanted=all

Read more at:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/02/fashion/maria-popova-has-some-big-ideas.html?emc=tnt&tntemail1=y&_r=0

In the last few months, I’ve taken a stand. I’ve unsubscribed from the dozens of vendors and social media sites whose ubiquitous emails both distracted and overwhelmed.  As a result, I actually read the email messages I’ve chosen to keep.

Although I rarely add to these subscriptions, I’ve discovered a site that’s—dare I say it?—inspirational. It’s called Brain Pickings. It you subscribe they’ll send a weekly e-newsletter that contains fascinating information about artists, writers, and thinkers—whether from a previous century, or recent headlines. They also recommend books on topics ranging from creativity to science, history to psychology. The emails are free, but the site welcomes donations. I’ve included a link to a recent newsletter here:

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/11/20/daily-routines-writers/

Also, check out the site for yourself:   http://www.brainpickings.org

Joe Queenan: My 6,128 Favorite Books – WSJ.com

“”First of all, from what I understand from doctors, (pregnancy) is really rare” in rape cases, Akin said. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” He added: “But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.”

Where to begin? With his poor grasp of anatomy and physiology? His disregard for the brutality and psychological trauma a woman endures during a rape…and the effects that continue—sometimes for years—afterward? Or his covert suggestion that women participate in these violations through his designation of “legitimate rape” as opposed to…. what? Added to the horror of the rape itself, Mr. Aiken would have a victim—assuming her body doesn’t “shut the whole thing down”— forced to carry the product of a rape to term. Chilling stuff. Even more so when I learned that Mr. Ryan (Mitt Romney’s running mate) was among some 200 Conservatives who also supported “legitimate rape” language in their anti-abortion efforts. Sounds a lot like 1950—or 1850 for that matter. Or is it more ominous still, with our species slowly marching back into the sea?

You can read an online version of the Post-Dispatch article below.

“Akin says ‘legitimate’ rape won’t cause pregnancy – Stltoday”

Our nation spends hundreds of millions of dollars each year to watch adrenalin-pumped car chases, shoot-outs against dramatic lighting or slo-mo special effects, choreographed to surging music. We celebrate cryptic, testosterone-laden exchanges. We glorify the torture and the guns and our ability to shock and awe, insisting: ‘This is strength. This is prowess. This is what victory looks like.’

Well, America…. Here is the other side of what we glorify: A desperate father searching for his son in the aftermath of the Aurora shooting. Hours later, Mr. Sullivan would learn that his 27-year-old son, Alex, was among the dead.

This is what anguish looks like.

Whatever these writers believed they were leaving— or heading toward— may never be known. But for some insight on depression, I recommend an article by the psychiatrist Michael Brog. You can download the pdf at this link: http://www.stlpi.org/news/perspectives/

I realize that the phenomenal number of books published each year make it impossible for any one store (or chain) to carry everything. But the absence of Howe had me worried. If not for that NPR interview, how would a reader learn about her? Howe’s last two books were published by W.W. Norton. And, theoretically at least, Norton has established channels for getting her work into the world. But I couldn’t find her locally. If I had missed that interview, would I ever have encountered the work of Marie Howe?

I learned that I could order all three of Howe’s books from Amazon, but was informed there would be a delay in getting a copy of her first collection, The Good Thief (1988), which won the 1987 Open Competition of the National Poetry Series, and was selected by Margaret Atwood. Amazon was my least favorite option. I take delight in browsing bookstore shelves, reading titles, studying the cover art on books, the construction of the books themselves. Amazon doesn’t afford me any of these pleasures. But to their credit, they had the books.

I’ve now read all three of Marie Howe’s collections: The Good Thief (1988); What the Living Do (1998) and The Kingdom of Ordinary Time (2008). These books are wonderful, soulful encounters and I encourage you to discover them for yourself. Below, here’s an excerpt of a poem titled The World, from The Kingdom of Ordinary Time:

“I couldn’t tell which stars were which or how far away any one of them was,           

       or which were still burning or not—their light moving through space like a

            long

 late train—and I’ve lived on this earth so long—50 winters, 50 springs and

            summers,

and all this time stars in the sky—in daylight

When I couldn’t see them, and at night when, most nights, I didn’t look.”

I also encourage you to download the Fresh Air interview that first introduced me to Marie Howe. Thank you, Terry Gross!

Go to:

http://www.npr.org/2011/10/20/141502211/poet-marie-howe-on-what-the-living-do-after-loss

Who?  An opossum named Pogo offered a conclusion from another generation: “It’s us.”

Amid this clamor and shove, St. Louis recently attempted the truly subversive: a time out to listen…to think about context. It gave people the opportunity to ask questions…and develop a personal response… to discuss a course of action. It took the form of a two-day humanities festival—free and open to the public. While the events could have been better publicized and better attended, they served as a very respectable start to what’s been promised as an annual event.

On April 13 and 14, in conjunction with the Missouri Humanities Council, the University of Missouri—St. Louis (UMSL), Webster University and the Center for the Humanities at Washington University in St. Louis hosted events at their campuses.

The Saint Louis Humanities Festival opened with a presentation by Shelton Johnson, a novelist and Yosemite park ranger of African American and Native American descent. He gave a presentation: “Gloryland: Literature and Interpretive History as Tools for Social Change.” Johnson’s appearance at UMSL featured readings from his novel, Gloryland (2009) about African American members of the US Calvary, known as “Buffalo Soldiers,” in the segregated U.S. Army. The book is a fictional memoir of a Black Indian from South Carolina who becomes a Buffalo Soldier assigned to patrol Yosemite in 1903. In writing the book, Johnson called upon years of research as well as his own understanding as a ranger of Yosemite National Park to give voice to these men and their struggles.

The second event on April 13^th featured Brian Turner, a poet and veteran. His introduction by David Clewell, former Poet Laureate of Missouri, professor and Director of Webster University’s Creative Writing program, was a full foot past riveting and in the best tradition of oral storytelling. Turner read from his 2005 collection, Here, Bullet as well as his second poetry collection, Phantom Noise (2010). Turner holds a MFA from the University of Oregon and also served seven years in the US Army, including one year as an infantry leader in Iraq and deployment to Bosnia-Herzegovina. Turner was joined by three other US veterans who participated in Missouri’s Warrior Writers Project, sponsored by the Missouri Humanities Council. After their readings, the veterans joined Turner in a panel discussion to talk about their experiences as soldiers and writers. Imagine: turning to the humanities to find the way back from war…the way back to the self.

The third and final event of the two-day festival was a screening of the documentary, “Battle for Brooklyn,” followed by a Q&A with filmmaker Michael Galinsky.  The film chronicles the fight between the residents of Brooklyn, New York and the developers behind Atlantic Yards, a massive urban project that threatened to destroy their homes. “Battle for Brooklyn” was produced and directed by Galinksy and Suki Hawley, whose previous documentaries include  “Horns and Halos” (2002), “Radiation” (1999) and “Half-Cocked” (1994).

Didn’t make it to the festival? Read the books.  Watch the movie.

Log on and listen to the event at Webster University.  The pacing is humane, the dialogue, personal. Once you’re past the administrative welcomes and intros, you might be amazed by what you hear: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJ0ilv70qJg

And after that? Do something truly subversive today: take time to think. For yourself. Keep it all a secret until you need it again.  Until you think you recognize a cultural behavioral disorder.

It’s not too late to remember who you are.

My appearance coincided with Saturday Writers’s 10^th anniversary. Three of the group’s founding members were present—along with dozens of more recent members and a few attending for the first time. The celebration offered one-on-one opportunities for conversation. I met: a father and his teenage daughter who are collaborating on a series of fantasy novels that also include the daughter’s illustrations; a woman who reviews writing “how-to” books (and brought advance copies of recently reviewed titles for interested members); a former vice-president of public relations and college adjunct who writes essays and novels; and a woman who founded a small press with her husband that has published dozens of authors. Members ranged from writers with Pushcart nominations and numerous publication credits to those in the early stages of their writing lives.  The group’s vitality emerged in the diversity of writing efforts: during the business part of the meeting, one member announced an upcoming “writing marathon” for site-specific writing experiences. Another announced winners of a short story contest…while someone else shared guidelines for an upcoming competition. One woman who writes mysteries handed out a sheet of links and helpful resources she recently discovered. Everywhere, it was clear that these men and women love the art and craft of writing.

In  Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, Anne Lamott wrote: “I heard a preacher say recently that hope is a revolutionary patience; let me add that so is being a writer. Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.”

The tag line of the Saturday Writers is “Writers Encouraging Writers.”  Somebody say ‘Amen.’